We're Not Wired For Peace Of Mind

Copyright (c) 2011 Willie Horton

Psychology has proved it ' we're actually our own worst enemies when it comes to finding peace of mind. Our minds actually develop in a way that is guaranteed to prevent us ever finding peace of mind! Research has established that, for starters, the average mind is overloaded with approximately fifty thousand thoughts ' every single waking day. Some of those thoughts fly past so quickly that we don't even notice them. And yet, all of a sudden, you could find that your mind is in a totally different place than your body! How easy it is to lose your place, to lose your so-called train of thought, to be distracted. How easy it is to find yourself cooped up in an office on a sunny day, while your mind doesn't just wish you were somewhere else, but it actually annoys you into not being able to do what you're supposed to be doing ' which makes the whole thing even worse. We all can recognize how our minds play tricks on us ' and every single one of those tricks moves us further away from something so many of us are looking for ' peace of mind.

However, all those distractive thoughts are only a prelude to the main event - the worries, cares and doubts that unsettle us and damage our feeling of wellbeing. First of all, there are little things that we worry about - often silly things like, five minutes after you've got on the bus you wonder if you unplugged the curling tongs! Then there are worries that permeate our days or keep us tossing and turning at night. As a normal person, you'll forever find new things to worry about. From parents worrying about wayward teenagers to people worrying about losing their jobs, from the money worries that appear to be plaguing more and more people, to those who are worried about their health, life throws all sorts of stuff at us that triggers the worry response. But the really interesting thing is that, when some big worry has passed, there will always be a queue of worries waiting to unsettle us. As a good friend and client told me recently: "I've been worrying about money and my business for the last five years - and with good reason, we were always on the verge of being broke. Then we won a couple of big contracts and, within no time at all, the business was flying and we were planning exotic holidays after not having had a decent vacation in a decade. Have I found peace of mind? Well, now I lie awake at night worried about the strange noise the washing machine was making, or annoying myself about a rattle in the car - things I never noticed when I had more important things to worry about!" There's always some useless thought waiting to disturb the calm of the moment.

Unfortunately, under the cover of all that noise in your head, you will find that there are darker, less random, more personal thoughts - the voices that continually haunt you - that are most unsettling. Those thoughts of self doubt and fear that sabotage our peace of mind and, sometimes, our lives. These thoughts have nothing to do with the reality of the moment but arise from what psychology calls our 'stored knowledge' - the sum total of what made an impression on us - about ourselves and life in general - during our early years. From feeling inadequate when meeting new people, to being scared stiff of making that all-important presentation, from feeling stupid to thinking that you lack self-esteem, these horrible inner distractions tell us that peace of mind is a far-away promised land. Yet, all these thoughts have one thing in common - they are the perverse creation of a subconscious mind that is obsessed with the past - that have nothing to do with the reality of the moment. But try telling that to yourself when you find yourself in a state of panic!

The well established fact is that, under the normal circumstances of everyday life and as a consequence of the manner in which the normal mind operates, the normal person will never, ever achieve peace of mind. That means that you're going to have to be abnormal, doesn't it! You're going to have to use your mind differently. In doing so, you'll discover that you're only one step away from that promised land. Or, now that I actually consider what I'm writing, you are already in the promised land of peace of mind - it's just that you don't notice it!

And, believe it or not, simply noticing makes all the difference. Noticing is the key that unlocks peace of mind. Yes, psychology has established the link between your ability to notice and your ability to be on that so-called natural high. If you're not very good at noticing, you'll never be happy and content. The good news is that we all have an innate ability to notice, so we can all train ourselves to develop that ability.

To notice what? Well, what's before your very eyes. The reality of the present moment. Come to your senses and smell the roses! As things stand, your useless thoughts divorce your from the reality of now. They twist and warp the present moment so that you feel uncomfortable and unsettled. But that's got nothing whatsoever to do with the circumstances of the moment, it's all the result of your useless thoughts. When you focus on those thoughts, you cannot pay attention to what your five senses are telling you about the reality of the moment. Time to wake up, smell the roses, come to your senses.

So, why not set five or ten minutes aside each morning to come to your senses. Find somewhere where you won't be disturbed. That could be your den at six o'clock in the morning - but it's just as likely to be a packed commuter train where no-one is paying a blind bit of attention to what's going on (they're all lost in their own personal useless thoughts). Simply, one sense at a time, see, feel, here, smell and taste what's going on. Don't interpret it, just observe it. The more you practice paying attention to your senses, the more it will grow on you - and by bringing your attention back to the reality of the present moment, you will prevent it drifting off onto the thoughts that destroy your happiness and contentment. Peace of mind is here and now - all you have to do is open your eyes to see it.


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Willie Horton is a published author, speaker and mentor - he's been running his Personal Development Seminars since 1996, for people like Deloitte, Pfizer, Diageo, Allergan and Nestle. His website, Gurdy.Net, is home to hundreds of Willie's Personal Development Articles and Videos - as well as the online version of his Personal Development Workshop, Change Your Life.